Whist wasting time on social media, I was served up a video1Sorry, I didn’t think to grab a link or archive of it. Amateur. showing someone making a wrap consisting of a Greggs sausage roll, baked beans and cheese. Naturally, I was disgusted by this combination so decided to make it myself in the hope of doing another dubious review video. I even went out an got a panini press purely for this activity.

So, why no video? After doing a test run, I decided that it wasn’t too bad a concoction. I didn’t even get molten cheese or bean juice all over the hot plate. I may record another attempt where I just rip into internet idiots, but given my current level of slack that may be a while.

The panini press has been named George Formby.

There was also a request for a review of a packet of biscuits that I won in a pub quiz. Verdict: a bit bland.

Yeah, the lure of social media couldn’t be resisted. There are new Mastobate and PooSky accounts in the sidebar.2I still haven’t finished the bumper holiday post, so I haven’t posted the bit where I drunkenly fucked these off one evening. Spoiler alert, I suppose.

  • 1
    Sorry, I didn’t think to grab a link or archive of it. Amateur.
  • 2
    I still haven’t finished the bumper holiday post, so I haven’t posted the bit where I drunkenly fucked these off one evening. Spoiler alert, I suppose.

I probably made a poor choice to make a bumper post covering the entirety of my time off work. I’ll publish the first two weeks now and update the post when I have finally pulled out my finger and finished writing it!


I landed an early summer holiday in the leave rota at work, which also fell between two long weekends. The net result was pretty much a month off work. Armed with a fortnight of unlimited rail usage, some adventures were had.

Spent a few days visiting the parents. I shall spare the main complaints.

First main trip was a run up to Newcastle to catch up with some of the chaps from training school who are based up there. Unfortunately, this visit coincided with Newcastle United winning some football game and having a parade through town. Many busy pubs and pints in plastic cups were enjoyed. The Wetherspoon I was staying at ran out of chips. I also had a ride out on the Metro, before the old trains become baked bean cans.

Next was a bit of a tour of the South East. First stop was Oxford, where I had booked in to see David Starkey talk at the Literary Festival. Very conveniently, a recording of the talk was uploaded whilst I was writing this for posterity1I started writing this on April 28th. I really do put in the effort to press the publish button.. Then onto Reading where I had booked the country’s shitiest Travelodge for digs. I suspect it used to be a 1970s office building that had been converted to a hotel, except no effort was made to modernise any of the original bits. I also paid a visit to the Nags Head, a quality pub that I had last attended over a decade before for a beer launch. Original football stadium signage was, happily, still in situ.

The following day took me to West London, where I took part in a loaded test run of a battery powered train. I was interested in the tech side mainly, considering that most of the rolling stock I work on is currently of the diesel variety, so I’m likely going to be using trains with a similar powertrain in the future. There was also an informative presentation from the engineering team afterwards, along with some freebies that are a part of these corporate events. I am now rocking a fetching lanyard at work. The return to Reading was supplemented by some more Wether-spotting in such exciting locations as Slough and Windsor.

The tour of Berkshire continued into the final day, where I dropped into the delightful concrete jungle of Bracknell. Most of this has been pulled down now, or been hidden behind cladding, so its starting to look a bit more 21st Century now. It’s still ongoing though, with a couple of massive car parks and office buildings all boarded up awaiting demolition. The big hotel in the centre has also shut down.

Next up was a visit to North Wales, primarily for Wether-spotting in Wrexham, Mold, Ruthin and Shotton. I managed to additionally drop into a former Spoons in Holywell, which is now independently operated. Although you’d never notice looking at the menu which provides a like-for-like selection of items to choose from. There was also time for some cultural nonsense, as I had time to pop into St Winefride’s Well. There was also the opportunity to do a devotional dunking but, as this was a spur of the moment visit, I hadn’t come prepared with suitable towels and shorts.

  • 1
    I started writing this on April 28th. I really do put in the effort to press the publish button.

I got hit with a bit of a cold this week, which resulted in me wasting a day off in bed. Never mind, there are worse places I could have been.

The flat got its annual inspection, which was the partial motivation behind last week’s tidy up effort. I was going to be working at the time they had it scheduled, so I just gave them the okay to go in whilst I was out. I’ve not heard anything adverse back from them, so I presume everything is okay for the time being.

I’ve got the micropub endpoint up and running on the site so that I can crosspost silly things to both here and social media using bridgy. It is working to some extent, although I have found that I need to take file size limits into account with Bluesky which is a comically low 1MB per image1Although the limit is said to be 1MB, the error message I received back from bridgy states that the maximum allowed size is an even smaller 976.5KB..

My new thing to do is play at least one full album or EP a day. This is to somewhat justify paying last.fm £50 for a pro account purely to just change my username, so I may as well take advantage of the more detailed reports and recommendations this provides. This week’s selection was:

  • Kula Shaker – K
  • Russ Ballard – Since You’ve Been Gone (EP)
  • Kunt & The Gang – Hurry Up And Suck Me Off Before I Get Famous
  • Dagger Brothers – Bwananapple
  • The Brainchild – Conversational Tennis
  • Cornershop – When I Was Born For The 7th Time
  • Ricardo Autobahn – The Frequency Range (remixes EP)
  • Pound Shop Boys – Dismay (EP)
  • Lancashire Hotpots – Nowt Like The Eighties
  • Yazoo – Upstairs at Eric’s
  • Tricks Upon Travellers – Where The Skeletons Dance
  • Atomizer – Cult Of Europa
  • The Attery Squash – [Citation Needed]
  • ABC – The Lexicon Of Love
  • 1
    Although the limit is said to be 1MB, the error message I received back from bridgy states that the maximum allowed size is an even smaller 976.5KB.

Most of the week has been spent finally getting started on clearing out some of the boxes of crap that have been littering the flat for the past three years. About time, really. Anyway, I did find this in one of the boxes which amused me.

A hand wipe packet, defaced to read "Lemon Fresh wipes for feminine areas" and to make the lemon look like a vagina.
Lemony fresh!

I seem to have given up social media for Lent. I wasn’t planning on doing so, in fact I was going to pick something else, but I absent-mindedly uninstalled all the apps on the mobile phone on Ash Wednesday. I was probably pissed off with something I’d seen, but it seemed somewhat co-incidental so I’m going with it. To be fair, I haven’t really missed it and I have appreciated using the time saved to read instead. I’m keeping it purely to social media on the phone only; if there’s something that really needs doing then I will log in on the laptop instead.

After not having done so for over nine months by my reckoning, I had to fill in three report forms at work for three moronic incidents:

  • Someone off their face on something (probably the White Lightning cider in their bag) having to be carried off the train at Sheffield.
  • Some lass falling over and splitting her shin open.
  • A group of lads fighting on the train. The argument began about crisps, I shit you not.

After the shenanigans of the camera memory card getting corrupted, I’ve discovered Canon have a cloud service where you can upload directly from the camera onto their server where it will be saved for a month. I’ve set this up and will see how it goes. It might be easier for retrieving pictures later on, as I could download them and save straight into the instance of Immich I have running locally, rather than farting about with cables and card readers.

I’d accumulated a fair bit of unused leave from last year, so I was kept being given various odd days off from work. As a result, I managed a few barely planned away days, including:

  • A mistimed visit to Newark: we were intending to go to the Triangle Beer Festival, but got there a week early.
  • Wakefield: where we managed to get into the Red Shed.
  • London: where Verdant were having a tap takeover at the Shirker’s Rest, so of course I got my fill of Putty.
  • Doncaster: where a day of easy drinking began with a 17% abv American stout and an 11% Italian stout.
    • Whilst I successfully made it back and was fairly fine in the morning, Rich was less so given the text I received from him the following morning where he had fallen asleep on the bus and then had to walk across Leeds to get home.
  • Skegness: where I wouldn’t ordinarily choose to go, but needs must for a stag do.
    • There was no cask at Butlin’s, as was to be expected, but they had bottles of Doom Bar available. Some bars also had it on keg – abomination! Needless to say, a lot of lager was consumed.
    • Considering the captive market, the beer pricing was not as excessive as I may have expected

I somehow managed to corrupt the memory card in the camera, so I annoying lost a batch of pictures that I hadn’t got around to copying onto the computer. I don’t think there were any of great importance, so I’ll just carry on as usual.

 

New year was a bit of a washout then. I was going to go to the pub but it was raining exceedingly heavily, so I resorted to my own supplies.

The Grannywagon was serviced and tested for another year. The rear shock absorbers needed replacing, but overall the cost was not too excessive. I was expecting the shock absorbers to be a big spring, but in reality they look more like the stays on the boot lid. The coil springs are a separate component, apparently.

A couple of trips out. First was a day trip around the Dearne triangle of random small towns. The highlight was the Wath Tap micropub, where I ended up surrounded by a birthday party for one of the regulars there. I was also able to collect a few more Spoons for the tick list.

Next was a couple of days in Blackpool. It snowed and froze over whilst I was there, unusually for the coast, so I slid over a few times and obtained some cuts and bruising. The copious amounts of booze consumed on the Thursday pub crawl probably didn’t help.

My new years splurge was on a Choyong LC90 radio which, probably uniquely, combines both a shortwave tuner and an internet stream and Bluetooth receiver in one unit. It has some quirks and oddities but seems to work fairly competently. I’ll probably write up some more substantial opinions on the thing once I’ve used it for a few weeks.

The unusually cold weather seen previously became unusually mild instead. The communal area of the flats has no heating so didn’t heat up as quickly as outside. This resulted in a three storey slip-n-slide being created as condensation settled on every flat surface. Equilibrium was reached after three days.

A return visit to London, this time for the annual Christmas-time tour from The Kunts starting at the New Cross Inn. A suitably cheapo hotel room (a Travelodge, of course!) was obtained at nearby Deptford Bridge so a walkable evening was in order. The Shirker’s provided pre-gig drinks, plus I was pleased to see that the venue bar at the New Cross now has a bank of cask pumps in place. The gig was therefore enhanced by several pints of Brockley Pale.

I was also talked into a run down to Milton Keynes, for the final stop of the tour at the Craufurd Arms. Gem and Lee are to blame for that. It was a no-go originally, as I was supposed to be working an early shift on the Sunday, but the new rotas starting that week changed it to a late instead so I could wangle an overnighter in. It also gave the Grannywagon a good run. Both the Craufurd and the hotel bar stocked Brixton Reliance Pale, which is apparently owned by Heineken now and brewed at Beavertown in Enfield so has lost some of its provenance.

Speaking of rota changes, I now have the Nottingham line signed off on the route card. Not a bad run, but they can get rather busy on the weekends.

Additional Grannywagon mileage was also clocked up over Christmas week, primarily caused by bad planning on my part. I had a pub shift in Derby on Boxing Day between socials in Merseyside on Christmas Day and the 27th, so two round trips were put in. I got four different routes each time though:

  • Snake Pass, M67, Manchester city centre, M602/M62, M6, M58
  • M58, M6, M56, A555, A6
  • A50, A500, M6, M62, M57
  • M57, M62, A57, A50, A537/Cat & Fiddle Pass, A6, 13 Bends

The roadworks on the M6 through Haydock have finally finished, so it was a pleasure to drive along the newly resurfaced carriageway without worrying about average speed cameras.

This would have been two weekly posts, but as I had difficulty changing the original post setting from ‘draft’ to ‘published’, you can cope with a combined fortnightly post instead.

The presence of a long weekend along with a desire to do something that wasn’t sleeping lead to a hastily arranged trip to that there London. Hastily arranged as in all planned at 2300 the day before whilst at work. A cheapo hotel room was obtained in Kingston-upon-Thames so that became the focus of drinking activities. I managed to collect a few more Spoons for the collection, and also some other pubs for the purists. Highlight location was probably Surbiton, which I had unfortunately left until late on, so didn’t make it around everywhere I had my eye on. A return visit will be in order, along with Tolworth which also had some interesting looking establishments that I saw going past on the bus.

A more local drinking session took place in Wakefield with Rich. As a result, I am now in possession of a deerstalker.

I came across a heavily discounted parka-type coat that I purchased, which came in handy for a period of unusually cold weather. The heating in the flat has now been switched on too. There was also a heavy dumping of snow that made getting home from a late pub shift, that would normally take around 35 minutes, take around three hours instead.

Also picked up on the cheap was a pod coffee machine. Teach me not to proof read, I got this last week. Anyway, the following still stands: Now, I fully appreciate that coffee pods work out more expensive per cup and have a potentially dubious environmental record, however the convenience of not having to grind beans, warm up the espresso machine and then clean it up afterwards when I just want a quick shot to go wins out overall. Fellow pod machine owners have also pointed me towards some alternative avenues to pick up pods at a lower price point that I shall investigate.

The coffee machine at the church kitchen had been playing up for the past couple of weeks. It was ascertained that perhaps reassembling the filter bowl completely – i.e. putting the spring mount back in – after cleaning it would stop it flooding the counter with coffee.

Fast food opinions, because I rarely have it but have needed to on two occasions this week:

  • McDonald’s McRib: the finest arseflaps and eyelids in a wet bun with barbecue sauce. Fucking shit, I don’t know what all the fuss is about.
  • Wendy’s Krusty Krab Kollab: it’s basically a standard Dave’s burger with nice sauce on. To be fair, Wendy’s burgers are quite good insofar as fast food goes, and this special was no more expensive than the standard pricing, so I can go with that.
    • I remember Spongebob Squarepants being launched. Apparently, that was 25 years ago according to this promotion. I feel old now.

Untappd has been binned off. I had set the status as “Occasionally, I even check in what I drink” because that’s how little effort I put into it. I finally reached the conclusion that I no longer cared, so see ya Jimmy Greg/Tim!

I picked up a Nespresso capsule coffee machine on clearance. I managed to fit it on the kitchen worktop after some re-arrangement of small appliances and disposal of rubbish. Now I need to work out how to dispose of used capsules.

Some places that I had intended to go this week, but never did because I preferred sleeping:

  • London
  • Tipton
  • The doctor’s surgery; although they never got back to me about an appointment, so that’s on them.
  • The supermarket
  • The pub